Updated: Sep 26, 2018
Let’s be real for a second: When two people are in a relationship, for the most part, their personal life should stay between them, right? So why do people feel the need to ask such invasive questions?
Ever since Austin & I tied the knot, we received a mighty mountain of marital advice before, during, and after the big day. Of course, we took in all the words of wisdom and what it takes to make a marriage successful. However, though, not every marriage is going to operate the same way.
As time moved forward the insight advice started to turn into pesky & unwanted comments. It’s hard to remain with a positive attitude when family members are making comments such as, “What’s the point of being married if you’re not going to have babies?!”
Not only do comments like that twist the conversation into total AWKWARDNESS, but it’s just downright annoying. We get it - you’re curious & you want to see us have the best marriage possible! However, there are some things that should be left unsaid. Such as:
“When Are You Going to Have Babies?”
If you read my previous post, you’ll know that we actually have been trying to have a baby for quite some time now. For this exact reason alone, you SHOULD NOT ASK COUPLES WHEN THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE KIDS! It sounds like such an innocent question, but it’s very invasive. Just keep in mind, that it’s not always easy for people to get pregnant, & that is stressful enough. No one needs Aunt Jill breathing down your neck asking where the kids are. Whether they are experiencing fertility issues, trying to become more financially stable, or simply don't want to have children — now or ever — it's their own prerogative. And that answer alone should be perfectly justifiable.
“We Bought a House RIGHT After We Got Married - Why Didn’t You?”
It’s really funny when (older) people talk about how they were able to buy a home so easily. With student loans and credit card debt drowning us daily, it’s easier to rent at this point in our lives. Obviously owning a home is on the top of our to-do list, and we are in the process, but again - this is something that only the COUPLE should have insight on. Your advice is appreciated & will be solicited when necessary.
“How Does it Feel Knowing You’ll Never Sleep With Anyone Else Ever Again?”
I find this comment to be not only offensive and rude but just downright weird. My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years now and dating for about 7, and I can honestly say I do not miss the single life at all. When you’re finally with the right person, things like “never sleeping with anyone else again” don’t even matter because it will always be exciting.
“Enjoy The Honeymoon Phase While it Lasts”
This ties into my last statement, and again I do not find this to be true. Yeah of course once you’re with someone for a certain amount of time, you start to get into a routine. But I will say this again, we are anything but bored! We’re almost 3 years in & I feel like we’re still in the midst of it. When people say this, I really have no response except, “Ok?”
“Hopefully You Guys Don’t Get Divorced”
This is another one that baffles me. When two people fall in love & decide to get married, why would divorce even run through your mind? Yes, it happens, we are aware. And yes, we cannot foresee the future. But when people make remarks like this, it makes it seem like you WANT their marriage to fail. Shouldn’t we be showering couples with positive thoughts & encouragement instead of pouring on the negativity? I think so….